the miles we go.

writing and writing it starts ------->

I feel like my thoughts are a million cement dust particles, waiting to be solidified with water. But it's dry here. My hands are rough, and my lips crack ever so easily. I wait for water, but instead it snows. There is moisture coming; it asks for patience. But my thoughts are oh so, and my hands are almost, and well, my lips, they're turning to dust now too. Where my lips are no longer, I shall use my fingers to try to string together these particles one by one.

that being said.

I've been driving a lot more lately. With all the random-thought-conducive time, I've concluded who I'd pick if I could befriend one celebrity couple:

[i hope captions aren't needed, but just in case:
Zooey Deschanel & Ben Gibbard.]

s e g u e

A reoccurring question I face: Can I wait until April 5th for Volume Two, She & Him's 2nd album? (listen to them here.)

A reoccurring question I no longer face: Where should I move? Yes yes. It's true. I've been bitten by the bug of decisiveness, and it's poison reads... Los Angeles. Come late September, I shall be a California resident once more! Though, secretly, I think I might still be, given that I still have a CA address for some things, and I never changed my driver's license. As I've said before, I never imagined staying in Colorado this long.

Forward.
I feel like things are slowly clicking into place, as if my concerns and questions were the hand on a clock that ran by the month rather than the minute. It's all coming full circle. With all of this, there's a subtle exhilaration I can feel inside, and every day it collects just a little more pressure. I look forward to the explosion. You see, I've spent my whole life wanting something, and this move is serving as one more step towards it.

Music. Music. Music.
in honor of the information above, and the pursuit of music, i decided to assemble a quick look at what i use to make my music (as of now.)
left to right: mandolin, microphone, electric-acoustic guitar, old keyboard, piano, apple computer, classical guitar, cajon, banjo.
One day, real people will be behind these instruments... at the same time.

click on photo for larger image.

Entirely separate item at hand:
I've been having car issues as of late. Misadventures, as I've begun to lovingly call them. To be clear, there's nothing actually wrong with my car.
Misadventure nº1. Got stuck in snow coming down a deceptively slick dirt road. It was dark, it was snowing, and I had no cell service. I dug my front wheel out with a little dust broom and used my floor mats as traction. Injuries sustained: Bruised left knee cap.
Misadventure nº2. Got stuck in deep mud. Had to use kitty litter (I had thankfully bought the night before because of my previous 'getting stuck' encounter. It's an Alaskan thing. Everyone has at least 1 bag of kitty litter in their trunk up there.) Fortunately for me I wore my rubber boots that day. No Injuries sustained.
Misadventure nº3. Locking myself out of the car in the middle of nowhere with nothing on me, my cell in the car. After breaking my favorite sunglasses, thinking I could use it somehow to pick my lock, I took apart my right wiper and used the small, flexible, metal bar to unlock the door. (my car's old, I'm pretty sure anyone could get a door open.) Injuries sustained: Bloody thumb.
Misadventure nº4. Another snowbank. In my defense, I was not going fast, I just didn't realize how slick it was. I was ready to dig my way out again, but fortunately for me, a coworker was behind me, and with the help of two firemen who were driving by, the 4 of us got me out. I proceeded to take the next curvy 30 miles at a leisurely 20mph, especially given the night had turned into white-out conditions. Injuries sustained: a fragment of my driving pride.

these are for the road.
photos I took from my misadventurous trips.

heart. shaped. happiness.

Hi. Hello. Greetings. Hey. Salutations.

It's past 10, Valentine's Day... I'm still waiting for a date. I called an escort service (with innocent-dinner-date-only intentions,) but they said they were all booked, so then I tracked down some high-schoolers, but they were having a "Call of Duty" gaming night, so then I tried the AA meeting down the block, but most of them are married, and besides, they canceled due to the romantic holiday - finally I got a hold of someone at the senior citizen center, but all of the other single women in town had been one step ahead of me, leaving me... dateless. Truthfully speaking though, I've never had a Valentine's Date. Well, my friend Rachel and I went out a few years back, just to have fun, and given we were both girls out on the town on such a holiday in San Francisco, people assumed, so that sort of counted. Otherwise, the closest I got was 6th grade... but, my boyfriend at the time and I broke up the day before, and he ended up giving my flowers to the girl we broke up over. Tragic.

So what did I really do to ring in the day?

Watched a lot of Olympics, went to the gym, played with the dogs, worked on a song, spent hours I can never get back on facebook, and then had to last-minute watch some kids so that their parents could enjoy a 'couple's dinner party'. Had I been able to have the night to myself, I would have ended the evening watching horror movies with a bottle of Merlot, (and I never watch horror movies.)

I'm exaggerating my bitterness of course. Positive things about this year's holiday? Valentine's Day the movie - which I'm sorry if you've seen it and you hated it, but I actually really liked it, and found it, in an odd way, refreshing. Go figure.

Anyways. I noticed as I logged on, that my last post was a month ago. I don't really know who reads this (though my followers have doubled, ha, from 2 to a rousing 4, Thank You,) but, to all of those who check this thing, I apologize for keeping you in steady suspense as to the currently uneventful happenings of my life these past 4+ weeks. I can't say that anything spectacular has happened. I did recently write and post a new song on my myspace, called "The Get Get Go." It will enlighten you to the place I'm in right now, feeling slightly trapped, and just wanting to get on to the next thing. But, despite my wishes for a better physical location, I'm content, knowing and accepting that things take time.

I also recently got the photos back from my latest photo shoot with Paco and Betty. Which, by the way, you should take the time to check out their website: http://www.pacoandbetty.com.

They are some of the most wonderful people you will ever interact with, hilarious, easy going, incredible to work with, such artistic vision, and dependable perfection with giving you photos you'll love. That being said, the photo above, as I'm sure you gathered, is a preview, look at my myspace '2010' photos to see more.

What's next though?

Well, I go to Vegas Wednesday. I've never actually been. I've driven through, but not experienced it, if you will. My goals? To get drunkenly-married to a stranger, and win a million dollars counting cards. No, not really. I am excited though, to see the place, given it's reputation, good and bad. I'm actually going to take a hand-gun training course with my dad. Now, for those of you opposed to guns, please know that I DO NOT promote gun violence in any way, and don't even own a gun. I just used to go hunting with my dad when I was much younger (I lived in Alaska, come on,) and it was a bonding thing for us. Well, minus the time I shot a rabbit in the face, and silently cried to myself for the next day, I mean my parents ate it, but I was 11, it was traumatic. Anyways, for whatever reason I'm in Vegas, I know it'll be fun, and just the break I need.

Well, that's about all these little fingers feel up to typing out. I do enjoy our times together though. After blogging, I always feel convinced I'm going to make these things more frequently, with plans in the back of my mind to assign a 'blogging night a week,' but realistically speaking, it'll probably be another month before I write again. What can I say? My life is just slow right now, which isn't entirely bad, it just means there's not a wide variety of stuff to share. It's been amazing though, in many ways, to come out into the middle of the country, and get a breath. In San Francisco, everything was moving so fast, people rush, at grocery stores, on the sidewalks, you name it. I love it, I miss it, but sometimes, it's nice to just... slow down, breathe, reflect, reconnect with the part of yourself that gets lost in busyness. For me at least, that's been a positive part of this experience so far.

Well, my best to all of you. Despite my earlier ranting, I do hope that today, you felt loved. Maybe not romantically, but in some way, from someone, you felt seen, appreciated, and loved, because you are remarkable, just as yourself - individual, unique, and rare, as nobody else can be you or impact the world in the ways that you can.

All my Love.
Audrey Ebbs.

And.... Happy Valentine's Day.

Decade decoding and the lost snow in between.

I'm so 3,000 & ten.

You're so 2,000 & then.

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is 2010.

It has been disgustingly long since I last posted something. I apologize to my (2) followers, ha.

So much has happened. Of course, inevitably, that's life.
Things to focus on I guess:

I am moving FORWARD with music. There haven't been too many changes as to where I'm at with labels & the like, but within the next few months I'm going to be moving (still not 100% decided on the destination city... suggestions?) My move is going to be one of the many steps I take to becoming more proactive about pursuing this thing seriously. I'm done playing small. That is to say, I'm done remaining relatively passive and complacent about music, hoping that all the pieces will just fall into place. It's a fight, and I'm learning this more and more. There are MILLIONS of 'musicians' out there, all trying to get recognized, and in order to actually have a career out of this thing that I love, I'm going to need to start taking myself and my gift a lot more serious.

I've been writing more lately. I've yet to record my two latest songs, but they're on their way. Hip Hip Hooray. Well, I thought I'd include some photos from this last month. I had a lovely Christmas and New Year, surrounded by family and visiting friends. I felt really lucky, & I only hope yours was equally enjoyable, filled with wonder & love.

[photo by Jessica Rourick ©2009]
a Winter Wonderland on a trail behind my house in Colorado!

a very blurry tribute to the magic of Sparklers,
and the excitement of New Year's Eve.

and lastly, the VERY charming Justin Timberlake in Telluride, CO.
He was nice enough to take a photo with me while his lady friend, Jessica Biel was busy for a moment. They were really sweet and funny.

Now that I've regained some motivation to create, express, communicate publicly, expect more of these to come. Thank you for your reading eyes and receiving hearts. My sincere gratitude and love to you.

Audrey Ebbs.